Relationships – Attraction & Longevity

Relationships Hearts-on-a-Line

Relationships have their own rhythm, their own karma and we learn lessons from those people that we attract into our lives. Unfortunately, I see so many people who seem desperate to be involved in relationships that they jump in straight away and shouldn’t. I think the link to Intelligence is Sexy expresses my thoughts beautifully. You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can have a relationship based on interdependence. Many people have relationships based on codependency which is usually about having excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, often one with an illness or addiction who requires support. You then become part of their psychodrama! On the other hand interdependence in a relationship is you being who you are, allowing the other person to be who they are yet coming together in a way that empowers and develops both of you!

In astrological relationships, there are two very important considerations. According to Lois Haines Sargent, in How to Handle Your Human Relations (1958) The first is attraction and the second is endurability. In today’s nanosecond world it seems that individuals don’t wait long enough to see if relationships will last. Let me explain. The notion of attraction is pretty simple. It is about the chemistry that gets activated when you first meet someone. You like them and they like you, and, hopefully, the feelings are mutual. Endurability is about having the glue to go the distance. Astrologers have many approaches to mapping endurability and can provide you with a considerable amount of information about the dynamics of the relationship. 

I get people who come and see me who have met someone for the first or second time and want to map out their entire future based on two meetings. Really! And they wonder why they become confused and get hurt.

Building a long-term relationship takes time and for those of you that are interested, from an astrological perspective, I would never recommend you do anything permanent within the first two years. This is a particular cycle and by all means, work toward creating a partnership however spend time exploring where you are alike and where you are different. Just because computers and online dating give you access to instant relationships (?) it doesn’t mean that they will work. Trust me in the majority of cases, they won’t. All this is doing is looking at the attraction side of the equation and not longevity.

©Helen Hartley 2020